I turn 28 today. As you already know, I am super excited. God has been sooo good to me. However, I find myself reflective and want to document my life’s journey so far and most of my experiences, hence this list. I hope you find something valuable and memorable here. 28 Lessons Life Has Taught…

I turn 28 today. As you already know, I am super excited. God has been sooo good to me. However, I find myself reflective and want to document my life’s journey so far and most of my experiences, hence this list. I hope you find something valuable and memorable here.

28 Lessons Life Has Taught Me So Far:

1. Nothing beats parental love and affection. Especially in the first 16 years of your existence. Knowing you’re loved at home and supported, gives you unimaginable wings to fly.

2. Have fun wherever you find yourself. Make memories and enjoy the process. Life is sweeter and more memorable when you are having fun. Be silly with yourself and with others. Play, a lot!

3. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay not to have everything figured out. It’s okay to be vulnerable with yourself and with others. If you want to cry, just cry.

4. Go where you’re loved. This is used to be one of my mom’s favorite quotes. “Go to people who love you and not people who merely tolerate you.” As I get older, I can see the glaring wisdom in this. In a place filled with people who genuinely love and care for you, you won’t have to fight to be seen or fight to thrive. You’ll bloom, naturally and with ease.

5. Protect your peace at all cost. Nothing beats inner peace. Nothing beats outward peace. Nothing beats peace.

6. Life without God in it is useless. Absolutely and completely thrash! I don’t know how people who refuse to acknowledge God are doing it, but I can reassure you, that on this side of my fence, the grass is always green. And I am not talking about materialism right now. With God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who gave us His Holy Spirit as a helper and angels at our beck and call, every day is green. Every day is sweet. Every day is beautiful.

7. Get exposure. When I was in primary five about to enter JSS 1, my primary school offered me partial scholarship or some kind of incentive to attend its secondary school. My mom turned it down and instead enrolled me in the catholic secondary school I eventually attended. The starting school fees was triple the fees of the other secondary school, but my mom was determined to get me into that school. When the Common Entrance result came out, I came 22nd out of about 200 applicants. That was my first time ever getting a result other than 1st or 2nd.

On our way home, my mom turned to me said in Igbo: “You see the reason why I want you to go to this school. I don’t want you to ever be a local champion. Go and compete on a fairground with the world.”

I never forgot it. It has formed one of the basis of my life in a way – don’t be a local champion. If you’re good, you can be better and you can be the best.

8. Always strive for excellence. Nuff said (drops mic).

9. Surround yourself with good people who know when to push you, and when to tenderly care for you. I have learnt that sometimes it is not enough to surround yourself with “good people”. Some people love you, but don’t know how to call you to order. Some others believe in tough love and in the process, break you or hurt you in such a deep way. In life and in dealing with people, you cannot run away from either of these groups. But you can also find the third group (and they’re surprisingly, readily available), the people who love you softly when you need soft love and love you sternly without breaking or hurting you.

10. Eat well. Problem no dey finish. Before you even address any issue in life, find food and eat first. It is not the will of God that you should starve.

11. Get yourself a mentor. You’ll grow faster and more efficiently. And this is a humbling fact of life, that we are all learners and students under someone. No man is self-made. I saw it somewhere and it radically altered my perspective. If you want to minimize mistakes in your life’s journey, pray to God to send you good teachers (i.e mentors).

12. Dream big. One day, during reflection, it hit me like lightning that dreaming was free. In my dreams, I could be bigger than all the presidents in the world and no one would care…

Then Mrs Temilade (Salami) Olarewaju, the founder of Lights and Cotton tees, designed that shirt: Dream, God can fund it! It felt like someone was giving voice to my inner thoughts. Now, I live by that principle – my own is to dream, and God’s own is to bring it to reality.

There is even a scripture for it – As far as your eyes can see…

Genesis 13:15-17 NLT – “I am giving all this land, as far as you can see, to you and your descendants as a permanent possession. And I will give you so many descendants that, like the dust of the earth, they cannot be counted! Go and walk through the land in every direction, for I am giving it to you.”

13. Genuinely care for people. I am a firm believer that every action has a consequence and the good or bad you sow today, will come back to you one way or the other. So be genuinely interested in the success and growth of others, especially those in your immediate community. See their wins as yours and their struggles as yours also. Be a kind person, especially when you find yourself in positions of power and influence.

14. Trust God. Wholeheartedly with reckless abandon. Have you seen the way children interact with their parents? That’s how God expects us interact with Him.

15. It’s okay to make mistakes. We learn everyday. Nobody is perfect and so don’t go around thinking you can’t and shouldn’t make mistakes. That’s pride.

16. If you don’t know, ask questions. The day I finally learnt this lesson, that it is okay for someone to laugh at me the first time because I don’t know something, but not okay to keep laughing at me for my willful ignorance, I was delivered. Don’t assume. We learn everyday.

17. Nurture your own voice. Be authentic. Be comfortable in your own skin and with yourself. It makes a world of difference, that you can acknowledge yourself – strength and weakness – and you know yourself to an extent. It makes a world of difference.

18. Learn to say no. If you don’t, you’ll suffer many avoidable hardships.

19. Be confident. I can build a castle on this point alone (haha) but I’ll summarise thus – While you’re being shy and afraid to toot your horn, mediocre people are galivanting their mediocrity everywhere. In the end, their mediocrity comes back to bite you in the behind, not them.

20. Always dress well. This is something I am still learning. People actually judge you by the way you look for real! It’s weird, but such is life.

21. Smile a lot. Laugh freely. Don’t keep things to your chest. Be cheerful. Everyone loves a cheerful person.

22. Forgive easily. When Jesus said that we should forgive 70 x 7 times, he knew what he was talking about. To err is the nature of man.

23. Move on. As quickly as possible too.

24. Read books. Remember point 7 on exposure? Reading is another way to expose your mind. And so this is what I am learning, if you want to get to anywhere in life, first buy a book on that thing. Reading helps you visualize faster, and if you can see it, you can get it done.

25. Never stay alone. In whatever phase of life you find yourself, find a community of good people and be active there.

26. See yourself through the lenses of God. Guilt is a thief. It robs you off God’s mercy. Guilt will have you living a beggarly life, thinking you’re above redemption and love, when God through Jesus has forgiven you 2000 years. Religion, in some sense (especially the one we know and see today), is also a thief. It will have you labouring for God’s acceptance and acknowledgement, when He sees you as a beloved child. It is important that everyone gets to know this God for themselves – the person of God and not just the power of God. It’s an exhilarating experience.

27. Receive God’s love. No matter what you have done in life, you can be forgiven. God’s arms are always open to receive us back. There’s nothing we can do to make God stop loving us. God loves us always. It’s that simple.

28. Sleep. Prioritize sleep. When you have done your best, goan sleep. And if you don’t sleep well, you cannot give your best. You need a clear mind to produce excellent results.